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Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven
God I have tried!
Suicide is a double edge sword
Especially when you survive!
Walking the streets at night
Dazed and confused
Longing to be loved
Wondering...
When is Mum, coming for me?

"Does she still love me?"
"Does she still care?"
"Does she still think of me?"
"Does she wonder, where I am?"

I want her to come find me
I want her to say she 'loves me’
I want her to comfort me
I want her to take me home
And keep me safe
And not forget hat I exist
Like the way she treats me now

I wish God 
Could make my Mum
Magically appear
Making this hellish nightmare
On the street
Disappear!

“Send my Mum please!”
So, all this can end!
Before this last ray of hope
Diminishes for good!

I don’t want to become
The walking dead
Forever forgotten as if 
I was never born!
For this is the cruel, harsh reality
Of living life, feeling unloved
Uncared for, abandoned,
Left to fend for my own

A dangerous killer inside me
Eating away, at my soul
Something, no one can see
As I suffer in silence
My insides crippling!

Lost, alone and frightened
Weeping on a dirty
Graffiti park bench
Dirty tears
Rolling down my cheeks
Stuffing newspapers under my jumper
To keep myself warm

“What am I going to do?”

“Will I make it through the night?”
“Will I get raped and beaten?”
"Will I be left for dead?”
“Will I survive
To see another day?

“Is my life worth living?”

Please God, I beg of you
Have mercy now
Please show me the way!

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 3/18/2013 9:27:00 AM
Life on the streets....Motherless :-( Harsh indeed...hope it's not a true story....if it is...I hope your heart led the way out xxx Heartfelt write <3
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Amy Rose
Date: 3/18/2013 4:33:00 PM
Hello Ruby :) Nice to hear from you again. This poem is an autobiographical poem. I lived on the streets as a teenager. Love, inner trust & faith have been my guides in survival & pure courage to share who I am today. No matter from where I come from, I have a place somewhere in this world. I wonder where that is! LOL Nobody knows! Thank you for sharing your heart felt feelings Ruby *Hugs* :)

Book: Reflection on the Important Things