Life Can Be Cruel

I cannot get into heaven God I have tried! Suicide is a double edge sword Especially when you survive! Walking the streets at night Dazed and confused Longing to be loved Wondering... When is Mum, coming for me? "Does she still love me?" "Does she still care?" "Does she still think of me?" "Does she wonder, where I am?" I want her to come find me I want her to say she 'loves me’ I want her to comfort me I want her to take me home And keep me safe And not forget hat I exist Like the way she treats me now I wish God Could make my Mum Magically appear Making this hellish nightmare On the street Disappear! “Send my Mum please!” So, all this can end! Before this last ray of hope Diminishes for good! I don’t want to become The walking dead Forever forgotten as if I was never born! For this is the cruel, harsh reality Of living life, feeling unloved Uncared for, abandoned, Left to fend for my own A dangerous killer inside me Eating away, at my soul Something, no one can see As I suffer in silence My insides crippling! Lost, alone and frightened Weeping on a dirty Graffiti park bench Dirty tears Rolling down my cheeks Stuffing newspapers under my jumper To keep myself warm “What am I going to do?” “Will I make it through the night?” “Will I get raped and beaten?” "Will I be left for dead?” “Will I survive To see another day? “Is my life worth living?” Please God, I beg of you Have mercy now Please show me the way!