Letter of Inner Re-Evaluation

"LETTER OF INNER RE-EVALUATION" As I think about the future moving forward, it seems that I miscalculated the opportunity laid before me. In this moment of strife and turmoil, should I act, without taking a full examination into what use to be, or at least I thought it was real. Before acting to hastily, again, should I take a deep dive into my inner most thoughts to determine what went wrong, if anything. Jealous people has always been a pet peeve of mine, because I have forever harbored the understanding that the concept is tantamount to control and selfishness. I have been down this road before and I know all to well, the damage caused by such a shallow mindset. Mental insecurities are nothing more than a non-belief in your own self character. What do I mean exactly, simply that, taking on victim hood, with the belief that you have been short changed in life, because you always have to be right, not compromising, never meeting in the middle of understanding and agreement. When your life has been in a certain stratosphere for more than a decade, and suddenly there's a disruption of complete chaos and confusion, what do you do? Interesting, you ask, because the initial response would be, that the level of comfort, trust and understanding that you had placed in and with another person, had been in a moments notice, out of the blue, got turned on its head. In this instance, I guess the old adage holds some truth, you can live with another person for a lifetime and really never know them. When people say, I got your back, I have your best interests at heart, what are they really saying and what do they really mean. The true test of these words will always present itself in the form of a crisis or some other situation, that may only require communication. An example of marriage longevity is 30, 40, 50, 60 years. How did they get there, not by, tucking tail and running at the least little rocking of the apple cart. Life teaches us that every day isn't a bed of roses. Life has challenges, we accept them, offer a resolution, not to be second guessed by those we confess to love. Anger is an emotion antithetical to our physical construct, that will always lead one down a path of self destruction, because anger is never portrayed in a positive light, nor is it expressed with a positive impact, the attitude is forever negative. Even though people have the right to express whatever emotion they feel, but they don't have the right to selfishly bestow that anger upon another person or their unsuspecting better half. Shock and trepidation are weapons of degradation and humiliation, that can work as annihilators of the soul, which is the spiritual foundation of human existence. If people are going to get along and thrive together, there must be a balanced equilibrium of shared responsibility to succeed. As, I contemplate my next move in the golden years of my life, decisions are difficult at worst and thoughtful at best. However, I ponder the tribulations, as to why I am forced into such traumatic circumstances in the peaceful and comforting years of my life. In the meantime as I travel on this journey of indecisiveness, pondering the echoes of past memories, good and bad, where did I miss the mark of clear vision. People are a maze of imperfections, strangeness, weirdness and oddities, never to be fully understood or dissected. It's simply sad when you dedicate your heart to another person, overwhelming, and you receive massive grief for the dedication. Just something to think about, how life really works, in the real world for some of us. Authored by: Floyd Neal March 26, 2023 Dedicated: "To Inner Self Re-evaluation"