Let George Do It

There's a George in every neighborhood, although in yours, he may go by another name. George can be found pacing the sidewalks looking for neighbors to pounce upon with his purple-heart stories so you'd best go inside before he sees you! Be aware that cantankerous George will wind his way over to your house (at any hour) to get himself invited to your party. He'll be quick to inform you, "I've been to the Palace to visit the Queen!" Don't ask him, "Which Queen?" He'll tell you, "All of them!" Another thing George does is sell things on the side. (The side of his house that is.) And the reason he charges enormous fees for his tomatoes (grown in a backyard bucket) is because they are virgin, never touched by an animal, wild or domestic! George's very economical wife hardly ever speaks and all the neighbors wonder what she ever saw in George? Gossip has it, she can't get a word in edgewise. Lately, George has been cleaning his backyard and a neighbor went over to congratulate him for such a neat appearance, now void of trees. A few weeks later, George is out front holding up a sign, "SPECIAL FIREWOOD FOR SALE". George screams across the street, "Buy some, you can save big bucks on your electric bill" Before long, with all his "good deals" the firewood is sold and George now has a new product "Special Enhancing wood chips" for your next barbeque party. (which he hopes to be invited too) Now with his wallet brimming over, he explains to the neighbors how they too might become entrepreneurs! You'd think with George's business finalized ,he'd stop haunting the neighbors but now he's found the time to suck up to the mailman, in order to find out who's getting what? where's it coming from? when's the arrival date? The neighbors sigh a relief, when George announces, "I'm going on an elaborate vacation!" He only asked that his grass be watered, cut, edged, pick up papers, scoop poop (on a daily basis). Ahhhhhh, the neighbors relax and again are, "sitting out", when lo and behold, here comes George! He's back from his elaborate whirl wind vacation that he'll brag about for years to come but not until he complains that his yard doesn't look as good as it did before he left! Like George....this could go on forever. So here's wishing you the best of luck in your neighborhood with your old Geezer....(whatever his name is!)