Leg Kicks

I need a fix or ahm gonnae die eyes drift open and already its there that horrible sick feel crawling its way up to my throat the restlessness kicking out from my knee letting me know, as this bully holds me down, but forces me into acknowledging how subtly and masterfully my life is now owned with nose running, head spinning leg kicking, stomach churning mind wondering, aches throbbing and gut contents looking to escape through to their pipes quicker than i can handle “is there anything under my mattress? how short am I? are my tools able? last time it was barbed pulling my skin ripping and tugging blood from there reminding me what a fool I been if no good who is near I can get a hit from i need that thin one to mill my hope from a mix of smack and water and abdine with heat through a *** end filter drawing death on the instal- ment plan I need a fix or ahm gonnae die I need to move and get up but the terror grab- bing my mind freaking me out and convincing me i’m going to die bef- ore i can even get thro- ugh the door im boxed in by this fear in every cell within capturing a moment dragged out to an eternity as climbing the walls im draggin up my feet to my chest and terror grabs my throat I don’t know what to do i need a fix now so i drag one foot now out to the floor and put it down as i force the other to foll ow through, im pushing the edge of my box and then it kicks in my mind sees the image of a wee paper wrap just under it near to where my hope is sure that its gonna be over real soon i can get out of this box and rush the terror and gut pull and leg kicks and nose runs and head knocks i need my lighter and spoon and so very soon im gonna be fixed able to get oot a this box and oot a this room and oot intae thae streets to get mair cash oot a whaur ever ah cin so ahm able tae avoid the fear creepin up oan me again. ah hate bein strung oot ©Stuart Patterson 2019