Lawrence Part the Fourth, In Action

There’s civic unrest in Neasden Which has become a mini hell The vapours from all those camels Has caused an awful fruity smell The citizens are angry and are Marching off to Westminster hall Now the novelty has worn off They’re blooming sick of it all In spite of the good intentions Of Lawrence and his crew You can’t housetrain a camel And the streets just smell of poo It’s a simple ultimatum sent To Tonee ol Georgie’s Vee Pee Get them moved blooming sharpish Or next election we’ll jolly well see They’ve held a cabinet meeting Old Two Jags came as well To listen to those pleas About their urban hell They’ve reached an honourable Compromise and Lawrence agreed He can fulfil his patriotic duty By going anywhere there is need So if you are on the channel tunnel And you think you’ve blown your mind Because you could swear you’ve just Seen a camel’s fat brown behind It’s only Lawrence and his people On security and safety patrol Dedicated and dutiful To the very soul When a patriot’s a patriot No task is too great In the cause and the name Of the safety of the state And as Lawrence sometimes mutters As he enters the tunnel to ride through it For VeePee Tonee and Her Majesty Somebody has got to do it And back there in little Neasden Things once more are going well Thanks to the absence of those camels And their gradually fading smell TBC