Last Will and Testament

With this, My last Will & Testament I'm sure you're all here To see what you get I know you're excited To see the treasures I had Now that I'm gone Now that I've passed To split it up evenly Only seems right Cuts down on the cussing Stops all the fights... I leave behind my disappointments And all my regrets Along with the projects I never finished Plus all the days That I never did With the buckets of tears I cried over them You can keep the guilt that I felt When things would go wrong Whether or not It was my fault Take the attitude Of what's in it for me And do as you please Now that I'm free and no longer in need Oh and my fits of rage When things would not go my way Be careful with that And watch what you say Fill free to keep the jealousy Of why them and not me But be warned if you do Happy you'll never be And my final breath That I wish I still had You can toss that away Now that I'm dead I'm sure you're now thinking that You should have hedged all your bets Since your ears and your eyes Have heard and seen what is left I'm so glad you all came To take this all away That over the years I should never have saved ...oh and tonight if you are soundly asleep And suddenly come awake The noise you hear is just me Laughing from beyond the grave