Last Will and Testament
As my friends and enemy's gathered round my death bed
For the reading of my last will and testament
Excited with the prospect of what I have left
As my lawyer clears his throat, this is what he says
To Bob I leave all of my misery
He can use it when he needs company
To Sue I leave behind all of my regrets
If I live much longer I'm sure I can add to the list
And for Darren I've packed up all of my weakness
I hope you have the strength for them, as God is my witness
By now to say the least I'm sure some of you are shocked
But don't worry I'm leaving behind much more than that
Jamie for you I'm leaving my selfishness
That might be in itself my last selfish act
And Cindy here's my envy when it's all done and said
I bet you'll be wishing you had Sue's regret
Jerry to you I leave my jealousy
After all you always wanted it much more than me
I never got around to adding procrastination to the list
Guess you can all share when it comes to this
As my lawyer came to the end of the very last page
And all my friends and enemy's turned to walk away
I spoke my last words saying there's one thing I can't leave
As I'll be taking all of my happiness with me...
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