Last Night

Last night I dreamt
I haven’t had a dream in Christ knows how long
I dreamt a dream that shook my soul
 
I dreamt of the glorious uncontrollable freedom I once knew
Of an old friend estranged
Living
Breathing
Two blocks from where I now lay
 
I dreamt of sparks crackling from a flame
-of smoke bellowing into some abyss
-of fireflies dancing into infinity
I dreamt of stupor
Of love
Of Rock Music
 
I was there, unspoiled, unadulterated, unyielding
I was in pursuit of god knows what, I was ALIVE!
I was seeing the lie, believing I would transcend it
 
I dreamt of loud party’s in spinning rooms
I dreamt of beautiful intoxication
 
I dreamt of a party so large the floor fell out from beneathour feet
 
I dreamt of ear shattering nonsense statements
Preached to the world from front lawns for the world to hearin its three am sleep
 
I dreamt of myself
 
I dreamt of a young man enticed by the glow of an entirebottle of tequila
Caught up in a moment of pure insanity and hormone
 One in which heboldly grabbed a girl by her arm and professed his desire to make love to her
The boyfriend looked at him in amazement and confusion asthe two had been holding hands
 
I dreamt of seemingly endless journeys to nowhere
Forever lost
But to my dismay always found again
 
I dreamt of pure, real, untainted love
I dreamt of the bewildered eyes upon me as it manifested in uniquedemented ways
My back against a wall
 Adrenalinepumping as I heckle her like a carnie
challenged like a child in a school yard dare  
A knife
My chest
A drop of blood
A captive audience trying to make sense of the madnessunfolding
 
In an explosion of energy I fell from my dream
I landed so hard it tore my dog in a dumbfounded terror fromher own sleep
 
I sat up
I reflected
I ached to go back
 
My head so full of thoughts, emotions, and creativity
I grabbed a pen
 
I used to feel
I used to dream
I used to express and create
 
This morning I wrote for the first time in years.
 
-J. DeSantis

addictionadventuredesirefreedomlustfree verse

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