Kotex In a Polar Vortex
The wind chill is 45 below sanity
a snowman has frozen snot
dripping from his 1 carrot nose
but the cold doesn't stop the death toll
in my sweet home Chicago.
27 dead across the Midwest.
Frozen solid in the echoes of their final steps.
A snow-shoveling heart attack took out a vet
who did three tours in Iraq.
My neighbor kept me awake, wielding a leaf blower.
To whisk away little puffs of snow.
He knows I work the graveyard shift.
But tomorrow I'll give him my happy hello.
He's on permanent disability, drives a nicer car than me.
He's the one who rolled a snowman into form despite his bad back.
Clever little mother#%$&*$
He'll never have a heart attack.
There's a variety of starvation and riots.
Thirteen wars going on at present.
But the primetime gossips are obsessing about.
Trump's big orange belly and wispy hair...
Mercifully, they cut to a Kotex commercial.
It's a good time to coffee up and take a piss.
I've got a very serious case of the polar vortex blues.
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