Kinda Pissed

Its rough wanting to scream out loud but knowing that wouldn't be wise so I go through life wearing this disguise I appear to be calm, letting things roll off my shoulders while inside I feel deflated, crushed by a thousand boulders Its hard being on the bottom, people treat you like crap I'm trying to make my way up, but its so hard to understand this map You're suppose to be a good person something about helping thy neighbor but no one wants to help you in return unless you promise them a favor not something simple, more like giving up your soul people won't help you unless you give them all control that is something I can't do so I am at the bottom but I won't make it to the top something has to change, the ways of the current world need to stop I don't know how long I can last, how long I can remain calm at some point this disguise is going to crack til there is nothing but pieces laying in my palms I fear that day, people will see a side of me that even I have never met and this isn't my emotions taking over, I'm not even upset Just stating how I feel, explaining what I fear really I am just thinking out loud so anyone who cares can hear.