Just Part of the Crowd

I have plucked the glory of the brightest star and came close enough to touch its fingers, searched the realms that inhabit its womb or even felt that wildly young adult passion, that I was inconquerable at 21,,, 30 maverick and a trail-blazer, yet present life leaves me smaller options in this new generation... a personal résumé now gauged by the sum of all my human inadequacies and lost challenges against mythical idols, godly super-heroes of a work-force, of a pop culture that in a quest like a holy grail, I strive to find myself in this new decade, writhing inside my very core; hiding as a porcelain doll, face unmoved---just following the crowd: Fuelled by relentless doubt, I have no name which can define my worth as a mature woman-- a mediocre artist, a reluctant lover needing to taste the fire of life after being swallowed by cliché- roles. Moths nibble my pores, staining my 90s graduation dress... while the luminous star of individuation passes me by in a flash as if to leave me naked again, infertile among dry weeds. Contest for Silent One 'That was Then This is Now 1/24/2019