Just Eat Horses

Horse meat’s tender and horse meat’s lean.
Makes the best damn meal that you ever did eat.
It’s cheaper than beef and bigger than goat.
Horse meat is the way to go.

You can fry it on up, and you can grind it on down.
Makin’ horse meat patties and sausage rounds.

Fix it all fancy.
Fix it all plain.
The horse is dead.
It won’t complain.

So why don’t we all just eat horses?

I met a hippie girl at the jamboree.
She was a down home gal from upstate Jersey.
She said things would be better.
Better by far.
If we would just ride horses and stop driving cars.

She’d wrote it in a song that she played for me.
With her little hammer on and her C/add-G.
I sure did like to play that tune.
But with a change in the way that the horses were used:

Why don’t we all just eat horses?
You don’t have to feed ’em when they’re dead.
If horses are your friends.
Why do you keep them in a pen?
Ain’t it better just to eat them instead?

Life is strange and what do you know?
I saw her next year at the same ol’ folk show.
I meant it as a joke, all silly n’ nutty.
But I don’t think she thought my sense of humor was funny.

’Cause she didn’t laugh.
And she didn’t smile.
I think it's fair to say that she thought I was vile.

But I swear didn’t mean my suggestion unkind.
That horses are better to eat than to ride.

So why don’t we all just eat horses?
You don’t have to feed them when they’re dead.
If horses are your friends
Why do you keep them in a pen?
Ain’t it better just to ride a bike instead?
Copyright © | Year Posted 2023

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Schatz Avatar
January 14, 2026 at 12:42 PM
Edmonds  Avatar
September 21, 2023 at 2:21 AM
Food for thought Robert, horses are such beautiful animals, but then so are all species and folk don’t faint at the idea of cooked meat to eat… Belle
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