Just a Thought

Always around slightly small mostly black think of my kids that's what holds me back cracks in my heart such a delicate shell tears fill my eyes my eyes start to swell try to be a new me no drugs no liquor now my eyes open wide more reasons to pull the trigger thought it was real did you mean what you said starting to see the truth make the target my head holding back so much pain but still some leaks out no one to talk to feel better with cold metal in my mouth no peace in my soul it will not rest another thought comes to mind aim straight for my chest even then I cry thinking of taking a last breath seriously thinking without me would the children be best feeling like a criminal I've committed no theft here is a person that's broken I have nothing left I'll walk away now before I do something stupid stop leaving it around one day I might use it no, no.... I can't gotta remember my babies this is a silent prayer I'm tormented God please save me