Just a Letter To Say Thanks

Dear Gloria, I’m writing in the hope that you are well and that your little munchkins have all their known limbs in-tact, as now I’m sure their father’s head is just bubbling, how lush it must be to live in you lush lush lush your husband, whom by the way I haven’t seen in a while, pinch his bottom for me with your eyes as I do at dinner parties, painting your house a sweet thick syrup of red, must be proud proud proud proud. I hear your washing machine is on the blink again, call a man out- I always did. You must think me crazy. For I did get the letter, you’re so sorry in, and must be so sorry you sent, regarding your ****ing of my husband I’ll now be sure to trade him in for a newer model, Thank You.