Julius Has a Bad Day

Julius Has a Bad Day By Elton Camp Only last week, it was late on Saturday night Young Julius was alone and hadn’t eaten a bite He went to the ATM at the convenience store Because he was short on cash and needed more He decided a hundred dollars would be enough Numbers entered and out came the needed stuff Julius was a bank customer who knew what to do The ATM gave five twenties, all crisp and new He turned around and one on the counter laid For a pack of chewing gum needed to be paid The clerk took the bill and then nearly had a fit “This bill is no good. It obviously counterfeit.” “But I just now got it out of that ATM over there.” The clerk said, “Where it came from I don’t care. We don’t accept any of that funny money in here And that I can keep it, the law makes quite clear.” Julius, his protest decided it was best to drop When the clerk gave a break—not to call a cop “Look, I meant every word I said to you before: We don’t take fakes. Don’t come here anymore.” Julius quietly slipped on out of that store He didn’t have his twenty dollars anymore As he got into his car, he had a bad thought If other bills were bad, what could be bought? He decided for him to take the loss was unfair Julius would spend the rest very far from there The motor revved and up the road he did dart And made a quick trip to the local Wal-Mart It was when he paid that his problems did begin The cashier made a stroke with a detection pen “Security to register five,” she began to say And loss prevention came there right away “Look, I had no way to know it wasn’t good. I’m an innocent victim. It’s easily understood.” Security admitted, “We have seen that before. If true, then of fakes you won’t have any more.” In Julius’ wallet, three more bad twenties found, Cops had him handcuffed and lying on the ground “It’ll go easier on you if you will decide to sing. Give the names of the other members of your ring.”