Jellyfish Sting Remedy

Now, you may wonder why I urinate on my toes But I know the cure when thrust in pain’s throes After bare footing on a beach of golden sand And accidentally treading on a jellyfish’s band. The sting is sharp and the pain so very intense You hop around with one foot a swollen immense You want relief as fast as you can get it Pull down your pants and start to wet it. I know this sounds gross and a little perverse The longer you wait, the pain just grows worse The scientific reasons I cannot explain But the chemistry of urine relieves jellyfish pain. How the first person figured this out, I haven’t got a clue And if you are too modest, perhaps I’ll urinate on you Don’t you worry; I’ll hold and aim my own hose Just next time on the beach, put shoes on your toes.