Jalapeno Pepper Deprivation

The potluck is right around the corner of my room, so smells are wafting in already. Luscious wonderful terrific delicious smells – pumpkin, cinnamon, chocolate, mayonnaise. You cannot smell mayonnaise? My heart goes out to you. I am sorry for your loss, Someone just took the lid off the baked beans again. I do not dare try for those, knowing How low my rear is to the ground, spending my day walking past little low children who Do not deserve to receive the memory of me enjoying a big sweet tub of baked beans. I was hospitalized with a spastic colon, and urged to not eat any of my favorite foods any more. My favorite foods are jalapeno peppers, chili, spaghetti, fried chicken, and more jalapeno peppers. Matter of fact, I could eat jalapeno peppers on my pumpkin pie, and not miss the whipped cream. A connoisseur of all the foods I should not eat, but I can now smell, I decide to take a little walk. Those who see me think I am doing something important. I am. I am saving myself from me.