Sanja Cokolic | + Follow Poet |
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I'Ve Lost My Heart In Your Garden of Roses

And I despise the flowers as a gift
it's wrong to condemn something to death
by giving it
now 
your soul is patched for my heart
(as a protest badge)
and that heart was holding the walls of my being

I was a tree which searched for the affined roots to inarm 
when the first birds started to fall
something changed in our being
I have shown you dead chickens and unknown wings
and you have displayed your true colors
so I painted a quiet photograph
(out of a thin air)

told you I'm narrow
you said it is different, interesting
I'm glad to entertain you
while my heart dances on the rails
now
I'm parted to the degree
of eagerness to fade in

(out of the air)

that pain matters
my pain
even though I wouldn't name it this way
it's masochistic
naming something the way it will
beat your soul repeatedly
(by the hands that used to hold you)

the worst thing is 
when you're missing half of a soul 
and you paste the rest of it 
at the wrong backs

that rose garden you promised me ..

I'm not Ok
it is ok
to say it loud
I have sore thigh from the collision with dusty macadam

And finally, understand what you were telling me
You don't love me
I saw that
When you broke my muscle
And left me in bruises

I finally saw it
In the way, your eyes were trying to escape
From tired emotions

You don't love me

(your touch clarified)

You don't love me

I know
In your heart, there's no place for me
(And you said that you kept me in a special room)

-	I have loved the other you, the one before
-	If you loved her, you would draw her near 


There's a different reflection in the mirror
ireful visage
it doesn't belong to me anymore
it became autonomous
a product of erased love


while I was learning to walk in two,
you were walking for too many
and used me to overwrite your prolapsed ego 
because of love that wasn't

refusing to walk by your tones
you have erased me with another score
the imported one

find one person is out of date
find that one person is out of our contemporary code of conduct
we fu**ed someone else
as The person didn't love us enough
and we're loving her by
fu**ing someone else

(never had that need of proving my femininity by changing the rubbers)

once it's gone
love never comes back
the one that does
has some other face
crumbled …
mimicking the fairy tale of Hansel and Gretel

by the practice of an incinerated heart, we learn Love

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