Ive Built a World
The sky drips fluorescent pink
as i cry from the lack of oxygen
My tears trickle down my cheek.
for no reason yet again
My pain is oozing from my mouth though my lips are tightly shut.
For I have built a world inside my mind and now i am stuck
I cannot calculate the peace I feel I'm owed. I can only hope that it comes to me.
I've worked so hard and lost so much,
though I've only happened to gain a halfhearted peace.
No full love, no real desire, never real free
Had I not cried and screamed.
Had I listened to myself.
had I acknowledged the indifference.
had I pleaded for help.
Though I didn't plead because I knew no one could help.
I knew no one Would release me from this hell.
So, I found it.
I found an escape.
I found a way to become one with myself.
I’ve built a world within my mind for no one but me.
I’ve tore away from my predetermined plight.
I’ve allowed myself to be free.
From my life and the responsibilities nailed onto me
For i shouldn't have to shoulder yesterday's stress
I shall never hope for tomorrow's peace, for I will use tomorrow to rest.
To rest MY mind MY hearts and MY eyes
I built a world where there is no rush.
a world where there is no need to disguise.
MY pain that I have shouldered because no more will arise.
For I have built a world that will rid me of pain and insecurities.
Tho I Will express MY pain proudly because my experiences are what allow me to breathe
But my world did in fact the opposite
My world sheltered me from the truth.
My world allowed me peace through my pain.
My world allowed me to settle.
For you and your callous spirit
Your ruthless words, and though my world bandaged my scars.
No amount of savior from my world
Can heal what you’ve done to my heart.
I’ve built a world for my desires and hopes.
I’ve built up walls to allow me to cope.
With yesterday's tears, fears and neglect
though the pain still flows from my heart to the mind with every breath
I built a world where oceans sing Melodies.
Where everything plays its part
where there is no pain, no insecurities.
Yet pain still remains in my heart.
I built a world, a damaged world within my dreams and I cannot wake up.
I built a world with hopes of peace.
but still lay heartbroken and stuck
Copyright © Deasia Luster | Year Posted 2023
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