Its'a Red
it's happening again
the pressure behind my ribs,
like something inside me is clawing for a way out
and my hands don't know where to go.
my brain keeps flashing red
like a warning sign no one else can see.
the room is quiet
my head is loud
and every thought is a shove.
I'm not trying to die
I'm just trying to feel something
that makes sense
for once.
i sit there trembling,
breathing too fast,
eyes burning,
wanting the pain to match the mess in my chest
because the mess feels bigger than me.
i see the red oozing out,
skin tingling weirdly,
every line screaming something
my voice doesn't dare to.
and I hate that I'm here again,
i hate that i don't know what else to do.
i hate that I'm scared
of myself
and for myself
at the same time.
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