It's Not You Its Me

It's not you. It's me. It's my fault. My trust issues, my own war taking place within my heart and mind. Relief I cannot find. Maybe it stimulates from my past. The cheating. The deception. The nights laying in bed contemplating suicide. Trying to escape, looking to hide. It's not you. It's me. It's my fault. My heart says's you'll stay, my mind says's you'll leave Maybe my own mind is out to destroy me; to completely deceive. Today hurt. Deja Vu. Her drunkenness taking advantage of you. You did the right thing. You told me. Did it bring up my past? Hell yes. The memory came rushing at me fast. I want today to end. I hurt. My heart aches and my mind is numb. Something so small hurt me so much inside Your honest; never have you lied Once again I want to hide.