It's Not Easy Getting Old

It's not easy getting old When I first get up I cough Clear my throat, shuffle to the John Sit down, and try to pinch one off Sometimes I do, most times I don't I wash my face but it sure is upsetting When I look in the mirror, with mouth open At just how old and ugly I'm getting Most of the time at least one thing hurts There's no telling how long it'll linger At work I was the number one hand But now I'm more like a middle finger It's not all trials and tribulations Some days I'm full of vigor and sass These days I'm just awfully thankful To be on this side of the grass!