It's easy to not even start

I say, looking at my barbie doll. I won't smoke cigarettes, how can you like the smoke? I won't drink alcohol, doesn't it make you uncomfortable? I won't take drugs, your eyes will look pumps, I don't want to scare people away. You know a cup of alcohol is fine, tastes like your coca Cola really. Cigarettes give you another moment to breath in, like it's giving you more time. Drugs, I just take them because, I don't know how to get away with it. ,,It's easy to not take these things", I always said like a kid. Still, now, I am wearing make up. Didn't I swear to never wear make up, because I never want to end up being like "them"? Why does everything seem harder, when time picks you as a surviver?