It Fades As It Grow

It fades as it grow, walk out while expecting it to stay longer. Stunning roses and lilies invite mournful congregation, champagne toast changed to a pool of blood. You never sure if is genuine or staged, sometimes confuses black and white. Both opportunists and optimists are marked the same. needy and want-it in the same race. I am scared but craving, broken hearted but still want to try. I know all I want but confused, I am dying for self actualization. I need it to grow when I am shrinking. But it fades as it grow.