Irksome Art Critic

A wise-cracking tourist in a Greek art gallery heckles the curator with each irksome inquiry: Why do the healthy, muscular gods and demigods who are supposed to be straight and sturdy like steel rods, often appear softy, unmasculine and are shown wearing skimpy, see-through, draping clothing they've outgrown? Why do they recline or fight in poses effeminate? Zeus gingerly picking a thunderbolt from a plate; Ares, god of war, about to strike a lethal blow with graceful wrists, dainty fingers and a ballet toe. Why does Apollo stand like he's just smoothly curtsied, and Achilles waltzes through a combat he fancied? Why is Prometheus naked as he steals the gods' fire as Poseidon sashays through the waves with mute desire? The irked curator says it's not her obligation to fill the gaps in the tourist's art education!