Internal Paralysis

Even when the sun shines bright
a grey cumulus cloud suddenly looms
over my radiant horizon
stealing light, luster and luminosity, 
blurring everything, blocking out clear sight.

Negative thoughts come marauding into me,
like burglars hiding in ambush coming to plunder
all that have been laboriously gathered in a life time.

I know I am unhappy over nothing,
but I am motivated with nothing.
This internal paralysis seeps into my being.
It fastens its tight grip on me day by day
Sometimes I feel so scared and desperate,
as if the sap and serum in me is going dry
and the feathers on my wings wilt and whither
like dead leaves, preventing my upward flight

My lips once so eloquent and expressive,
have now fallen silent and still.
All the words I have carefully gleaned and gathered,
have slipped and slid into a bottomless abyss.
I feel I am a tramp at life’s dead end.

At times despair overwhelms me
and I struggle to keep my tears at bay.
I am a planet running out of its elliptical orbit,
with a fatal crash to burn out soon
somewhere on its path like a falling meteor.
I feel the weight of life pressing me down.

Paralyzed by the intensity of my thoughts,
I am unable to move and I seek rest on my bed.

Time moves on in speeding pace
and I am still slouched on my bed, unable to get up 
not bound by any visible chains,
but by the bondage of my own make.

I must break loose the noose stifling my breath.
The moment this thought blew into me like a wild wind,
I sense my heart beating with a stronger pulse.
Again the winter's freezing chill can no more still me.

I must resurrect from the pit I am in.
Why wait, I see the horizon stretching far.

anxietyfearfree verse

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Sotto Poet

June 11, 2026 at 9:32 AM

Back to is an insightful poem. With my sincere congratulations on winning 1st place in this contest.

Edward Ibeh

June 10, 2026 at 10:33 AM

Such a great poem, Valsa. Harrowing, powerful, haunting. I'm faving. Heartiest congratulations on your top win in my contest.

Valsa George

June 10, 2026 at 8:10 PM

Dear Edward, it is always gratifying to take part in your contest. I feel you are quite just in your assessment, unlike some others. Partiality is always depressing. Thanks a lot dear friend for the great placement given.

Sotto Poet

May 29, 2026 at 11:24 AM

This poem is very stunning, with such vivid descriptions. Your poetry touched me profoundly. When dealing with issues like panic attacks, it can be exceedingly challenging to break free of feelings and ideas. You are an incredibly gifted writer, my friend; I can feel the determination and optimism building toward the finish.

Daniel Henry Rodgers

May 28, 2026 at 11:25 AM

Dear Valsa, this is an incredibly profound and brave piece of writing. Your imagery of the feathers on your wings wilting like dead leaves and the words you’ve gathered slipping into a bottomless abyss is heartbreakingly real. It perfectly describes that terrifying feeling of being trapped by a "bondage of my own make." From darkness back to the light, Valsa. It's beautiful. Blessings, Daniel

Sam Kauffman

May 28, 2026 at 10:39 AM

Dearest Valsa, you nailed the theme with your images that eloquently express this sense of internal inertia - the feeling that we cannot take one more step. I love the challenge you issue to yourself, "I must break loose the noose stifling my breath." Lovely internal rhyme! Your words so resonate with me. Best wishes for the contest, dear friend. I think Edward will love this poem. Blessings for your journey!

Silent One

May 27, 2026 at 11:24 AM

Wow Valsa, I've not seen anyone write for this contest like you have... To be trapped inside ones thoughts is a very difficult thing and it can be so difficult to overcome.. especially with things like anxiety.. I can see hope at the end and the will to over come... you are a very talented writer my friend...