Inside Out

In the basement of our house Was a workshop Of gray tools And the smell of 3-in-1 oil There under the steady glare Of florescent lighting My father Worked. Whenever he called me downstairs It was to talk About something important Or a mistake I made After every few sentences He would adjust his glasses And pause To make sure I understood every word he said A habit He had until the day he died. Speaking with determination He told me never to lie You may think people don't listen He said But inside they do The mind Works Like a sponge It remembers everything Even when we get tired and forget. So remember Nobody likes a liar. I first saw Susan walking Down the street Head held high Graceful I tried catching up with her But she was quicker Than I was We met again when she dropped her keys Picking them up I told her She was the most beautiful woman I ever met A slight exaggeration An innocent white lie But a lie nevertheless. Soon we were together Clothes on Clothes off The new found Thrill Of intimacy Was intoxicating. In small bits Day by day Freedom evaporated And our lives Became hopelessly twisted In an undertow Of life, money, Apartment Problems and future I wasn't honest with myself And deep down inside I never knew What I was hiding Or how fragile a relationship could be. One night she asked if I knew Anything about roses I barely stammered a what? Roses symbolize love, sympathy and Elegant beauty She said But they're one of the most fragile flowers Ever They can turn brown and die From a chill in the air. I fell asleep on the couch that night Getting up in the morning I saw the made up bed And in the kitchen Nestled between coffee and sugar Was an envelope With my name Scrawled in clear Bold handwriting My hands shook As I reached for the envelope The urge To leave it unread Was strong Until suddenly, I tore it open And read it through From top to bottom Over and over again. Catching my breathe I sat down Enfolded In the strange quiet Of an empty apartment Wondering how different things might have been Had I not told white lies.