Insane

My lungs are deprived of oxygen; Engulfed in violence, I cannot breathe Conspiracies of corrupted Love and Faith are choking me My perverted deception of lettered Combinations of a language I cannot speak Fueled by an unmistakable anguish Of silenced thoughts, allows me to perceive the worst, Dig my grave even deeper and pattern my emotions According to my ever sinking confusion My blood is poisoned by my memories My body’s aching; my nerves are pinched and crippled My joints have been weakened, rusting with despair I'm growing tired of my disease I'm desperately trying to break down these walls Of mistrust, bring down my guard and open my eyes Wide enough, but the darkness is too heavy; I bow my head and succumb To the vile dirt, intoxicated by rotting bodies Of others like me before my time who too Tried too hard to make sense of this surreal situation Lost in their quest for a cure for this disease They danced to the crazed rhythms of delusion Fell victims to a never ending defeat Entrapped in a world of constant battle between their minds And what their hearts had felt and eyes had seen, Paranoid visions ripped open their lungs and stripped them of air They withered and gawked and eventually fell to their death. Night after night I vomit the truth into your face Its sickly smell appalls me but you remain unchanged Night after night I regurgitate nails from my bleeding stomach And pin you down for every wrong you’ve done But you avoid my rolled back eyes and hanging tongue Convince me I'm making things up, recommending medication Like it could heal this worm-infested womb where the devil Has planted his sperm, from which now evil itself is growing. I'm becoming a prisoner locked up in cage half my size Soon I will give birth to a beast, a monster; it will speak from my lips And see with my eyes, breathe with my lungs and deviate freely across The dance floor of life’s little vicious game. Now I create my own rules Play my own way and I become free. Now no chains can bind my restless soul, No cage can keep me locked up, no words can wreck my once fragile stability. No I am not me anymore, I have become someone else, something else, and While you have stayed blind, deaf, mute, cold and unchanged, every inch Of me has transformed to something much, much worse, perhaps merely because I’m fully aware I have become insane.