Innocence

Yesterday was innocence, I was healthy, vital, fine Today’s diagnosis meeting Said my tissue’s not benign I don't feel changed; I am the same Stress causes strength to be spent In endless spiraling wondering... About my future events Are changes imposed? Warranted? Should I tell my friends and reveal? How can I think and talk about What to me is not yet real? Intrusive tests scheduled each day I submit 'tho I abhor Technicians' tough and callous ways My fears they simply ignore I submit without a murmur As physicians plan and direct A regimen lacking nurture Radiation’s killing affect Destroy cancer cells precisely Leave good ones whole and intact Systems prodded and jolted Uncertain how to react Funny 'tho; the sun's still bright, I inhale smells of grass to calm The flowers bloom, people come to love As though to lessen the harm I discover a legion of friends Processing thoughts the same Pondering thru uncertainties Wondering who there is to blame?