Inner Conflicts
Trees are falling down in my world.
The sun has gone down and it's not hot anymore.
The season is winter.
I find more and more that the dark side is speaking to me in tongues.
She wants me to be bad and lean over to her.
I am in a tug of war match.
But I don't want to be.
I run screaming into the church to forgive me for I have sinned.
I ask them to wash away my unpure thoughts.
But than I remember that were all human.
I am allowed to make a mistake.
I leave a paper trail of my regrets and I detest littering.
I am hopelessly in love.
I am hopelessly in lust.
But the bottom and the top of my heart
belongs to the one that I have fallen for.
She owns my heart.
She owns my eyes.
She has the ability to make me cry.
The daggers she throws I deserve them I know.
So I take them as punishment for my lustful thoughts.
Home is where the heart is and my heart is with her.
She will never realize how sorry I truly am.
In these last couple of months I have devoured her trust.
I never realized how big of a part I would play in destroying us.
"I will never hurt you" people say that and that's the biggest lie.
We hurt unconsciously. We hurt without even meaning to.
We leave little stab wounds every so often.
We run off and leave each other bleeding everyday.
People are not afraid to hurt their afraid of the outcome.
Death, loneliness, prosecution.
People will lie in love until the world is ending.
I sincerely meant it when I said I never thought I'd hurt her.
When I told her that I would be different.
I will never say those words to anyone again.
I won't promise that I won't do it again.
After all humans were created from eve's great mistake.
I craved the apple but I never did taste.
I looked in the mirror and I barely recognize my own face.
This girl I see she said many things....
She didn't keep up with the many promises she made.
But this girl she is still learning the rules to this game.
She sucked at life just like she sucked at chess.
At the age of twenty and three she is not done
growing yet.
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