Vee Bdosa Poet Sonnet

Inhumanity of Man

SARAJEVO - inhumanity of man
Have you a home to call your very own
where sounds of children busy at their play
are all around, and it is widely known
this is the place you live at every day?

What would you do if someone came around
and forced you from your home one dreadful night?
What if they took just everything that's found
and made it theirs, and told you it was right?

What if they took your men--you know not where
and raped your wives and daughters for their fun,
what if they left your children crying there
and all alone, what if they shot each one?

What if the world would look, but never see,
nor recognize the worst that man can be?

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Tom Mcmurray September 29, 2017 at 6:34 PM A very well metered and provocative poetic Vee. I enjoy reading sonnets that hold the meter and rhythm together. My only suggestion would be to think about changing " What if they took your men, you know not where..." to " What if they took your men? You don't know where!" I don't know Vee but I think a poetic line should reflect the way you would say it in actual conversation. Using words contrary to what you would use them in conversing with a friend seems forced. Anyway, great job. Tom

Vee Bdosa September 25, 2017 at 6:34 PM Thanks, Gordon, your comment is exactly what I need for a pet project I have, a book self published, 100% professional title I believe to be SARAJEVO ROOTS AND LEAVES, So far I have about 50 poems, mostly Shakespearean Sonnet form, about the war in Bosni Herzogovena and Serbia. They are very emotional, each better than this one I think. Would you be interested in hellping with this? The end result will be a beautiful book, I will pay for all the publishing. best to email me [email protected]

Gordon Alexander September 25, 2017 at 11:14 AM I feel this poem so much having served in Bosnia in the 90s the smells and things seen will remain with me forever sarejevo was one of these places amongst others such as gorni vakuff my heart goes out to you for writING this very nice poem about the unknown war excellent job well done Gordon

Adeyemi Joshua September 24, 2017 at 4:15 PM Athirst for the right...