Indisputably European

You always eat a sandwich with a knife and a fork You don't think of bacon when you think of pork You'd likely drop dead from mayonnaise on bread You'd rather drink wine than beer with a head You take off your shoes when you enter a house You don't hug and kiss women in front of your spouse You sport a clean handkerchief up near the top of your suit You sport galoshes in the rain instead of shoe boots You hail from a country that's indisputably European Unlike your counterpart ~ a Mark Twain Missou-RI-an