Incomprehensible Existential Conundrum

Since time immemorial happenstance bestowed *****sapiens ability to become self aware double edged figurative sword allowing, enabling, providing... forebears of yesteryear to marvel at life, and reckon with death, which mixed blessing confronts twenty first century man/womankind with dilemma, albeit reconciling mortality linkedin with consciousness heightened, tested, under_scored... particularly at demise dearly departed inadvertently affect upon surviving family members hijacking, offsetting, upending... fracturing emotional composure prompting immediate questions regarding purposefulness living nee, being born essentially to die predestined to pass away identical fate decreed upon all animals and plants bolstered by believing deity foreordained every creature past, present, and future, yet most pronounceable afflicting non denominational, non religious, non sectarian case in point Unitarian, vis a vis visa versa secular humanists, especially nonsensical poet wannabe riddled with perplexity about nature of being alive wondering what explains essence constituting individual fluke finding meaning scuttling across world wide web hither and yon, to and fro dumbfounded at futility absolute zero adequate answers (again, unless one subscribes to codified doctrinal dogma i.e. religion, faith, creed...) I attest as garden variety primate baffled, flummoxed, nonplussed... why chance genetic dice throw gifted me finite time solely to contemplate (more than just my navel) meaningfulness analogous to scrutinizing Möbius strip unable to identify inscrutable mystery defining random existence specifically essence happenstance/circumstance begat me Matthew Scott Harris.