Amanda Kinzer | + Follow Poet |
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In My Room Part 2

I don’t want to taint her, I don’t want my evil, my darkness to creep into her soul, I may love her, but I want more for her than what I can ever be, this I sadly know
So, I take her into my arms, and I relinquish all my passion for her from within, I kiss her sweet, beautiful lips and her eyes they almost do me in
She’s begging me without speaking to just not run away, but we both know this is the beginning of the end for us, there is not much more to say
The next day I walk up those familiar stairs like a man walking to death row, I might as well be dying, because saying goodbye to her it shows that I have no soul

She was perfect, at least she was to me, and as she turns and smiles and locks eyes with me, I can’t take it, it’s crippling me
I take one long, last look at her beautiful face, and take a mental picture of her beauty that I was lucky enough to bare witness to, blessed just to have a taste
Those eyes, they almost do me in as I walk out that door, I hope she can’t see the tears shining in my eyes that I am holding back, because I know I will never look into them again, not anymore
I call her as soon as I walk out the door, her voice it resonates within me, I tell her that I love her, but she has no idea it’s killing me

I can’t make the choice for myself she knows this I can’t just walk away, I have my reasons why, so she selflessly tells me to let her go and do what I know is right
I know her heart is broken and as I sit here crying in disbelief of it all, mine is too, she will never know the impact that she had on me, I only wish she knew
I still think of her, I envision that smile every day of my tortured life, I would give all that I have to be with her, but in my heart, I know it isn’t right
I can’t give her what she needs, I can’t give her all of me, and I know that she would take whatever I would give but selfishly, I want all of her and I can’t be the man I should have been to her, the one I want more than anything to be.

Copyright © Amanda Kinzer | Year Posted 2022

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Steven Young Date: 11/8/2022 3:37:00 AM Wow, the perspective shift is jarring and very effective for closure. I appreciate reading this. Life isn't always sugar castles and gumdrops. This is as real and raw as it gets. You're a brave one. Login to Reply Amanda Kinzer Date: 11/8/2022 2:12:00 PM Thank you it does help me with closure. No, you're correct it isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Thank you for your kind words, I try to write from the depths of my heart and soul and sometimes that means showing the anger, the hurt, the raw emotion. Thank you for saying I am brave. I mailed the poem you previously responded on along with many others in a book that I wrote for this person, and it also helped with closure too knowing that he read these words.

Mystic Rose Rose Date: 8/29/2022 6:31:00 PM This is so heart breaking and sad, very well written and heart felt, thank you for sharing dear poet Login to Reply Amanda Kinzer Date: 8/29/2022 6:34:00 PM Thank you for reading. It was very hard to go through with him and devastating to say the least even to this day! Thank you again I am glad you enjoyed it.