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In her Absence

Here I am once more...smoking 
..on the balcony of my dreams.
My heart’s beating gestures of love...pulsating,
...deserted in the darkness of lust.

Ardent thoughts conquer my mind, 
While puffing circles of smoke in the midnight air,
Slowly...the smoke dissipates into the dim heavens.

Blindly...I ponder the silence of darkness,
As I gaze sightlessly...holding her in my dreams. 
...with passionate...romantic strokes,
I’d softly caress her fears into oblivion,
Echoing my love...crumbling her walls of hurt.

A crimson sea...crashes onto my heart's shore.
Surging waves of yearning...ripple my flesh. 
Mists of love...lace this fervent urge, 
On a night...born from complete desolation.
...an endless craving...of savoring her salty taste.

She fades from my vivid dreams,
Like a puff of smoke in the midnight air.
While I helplessly sink...in the abyss of her absence.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




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Date: 9/11/2009 5:32:00 AM
First caitalize the "h" in the title Her...unless you meant to diminish? remove the "I'd" it's self evident "softly caressing her fears"..perhaps....her salty taste?..MUCH more immediate Raul...MUCH more...more...;) Now you check M'Ladies' Favor Again...I made meter adjustments & comment please..Light & Love
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Date: 9/10/2009 6:52:00 PM
Strong descriptions, your descriptions are key to painting the image perfectly, good job.
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Date: 9/8/2009 8:41:00 PM
WOW!...OK.. Raul... make A Movie oth this one I like it... Very Passionate with lovely Words... MoonBee
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Date: 9/8/2009 2:54:00 PM
This poem is potent my friend,...I vissioned the script,..just beautiful !!! james
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Date: 9/8/2009 12:46:00 PM
you know I LIKE IT! a few suggestions to try? " ardent thoughts cross my mind" "Slowly..the smoke dissipates (*lots of lovely s'sssss) "Blind I ponder the silence of the dark" " Echoing my love...crumbling her..." "A sea of crimson...crashes into my heart" "of endless craving...I envision her." Light & Love always!
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Date: 9/7/2009 6:42:00 PM
smoking has witnessed many a relatonship!!!!great write rm
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Date: 9/7/2009 5:54:00 PM
hot one! nicely written, flows like honey
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Date: 9/7/2009 7:02:00 AM
What a poem friend..... I agree with Elaine, to my favs....Awesome......:JP]
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Date: 9/7/2009 6:45:00 AM
To my favorites! A MASTERPIECE! dear Raul. Lainie
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Date: 9/6/2009 1:59:00 PM
Hi Raul Wow! What beautiful poetry you pen here today. Such a talent you are. I think every woman yearns to be thought of in that way. Amazing poetry, excellent job! Love Light Truth Patricia
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Date: 9/6/2009 1:27:00 PM
Beautiful words...going in my favs-Charma
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Date: 9/6/2009 1:25:00 PM
Wow Paul, such evocative imagery very impressive. Joanne
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