In Her Absence

Here I am once more...smoking 
..on the balcony of my dreams.
My heart’s beating gestures of love...pulsating,
...deserted in the darkness of lust.

Ardent thoughts conquer my mind, 
While puffing circles of smoke in the midnight air,
Slowly...the smoke dissipates into the dim heavens.

Blindly...I ponder the silence of darkness,
As I gaze sightlessly...holding her in my dreams. 
...with passionate...romantic strokes,
I’d softly caress her fears into oblivion,
Echoing my love...crumbling her walls of hurt.

A crimson sea...crashes onto my heart's shore.
Surging waves of yearning...ripple my flesh. 
Mists of love...lace this fervent urge, 
On a night...born from complete desolation.
...an endless craving...of savoring her salty taste.

She fades from my vivid dreams,
Like a puff of smoke in the midnight air.
While I helplessly sink...in the abyss of her absence.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009



Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 9/11/2009 5:32:00 AM
First caitalize the "h" in the title Her...unless you meant to diminish? remove the "I'd" it's self evident "softly caressing her fears"..perhaps....her salty taste?..MUCH more immediate Raul...MUCH more...more...;) Now you check M'Ladies' Favor Again...I made meter adjustments & comment please..Light & Love
Login to Reply
Date: 9/10/2009 6:52:00 PM
Strong descriptions, your descriptions are key to painting the image perfectly, good job.
Login to Reply
Date: 9/8/2009 8:41:00 PM
WOW!...OK.. Raul... make A Movie oth this one I like it... Very Passionate with lovely Words... MoonBee
Login to Reply
Date: 9/8/2009 2:54:00 PM
This poem is potent my friend,...I vissioned the script,..just beautiful !!! james
Login to Reply
Date: 9/8/2009 12:46:00 PM
you know I LIKE IT! a few suggestions to try? " ardent thoughts cross my mind" "Slowly..the smoke dissipates (*lots of lovely s'sssss) "Blind I ponder the silence of the dark" " Echoing my love...crumbling her..." "A sea of crimson...crashes into my heart" "of endless craving...I envision her." Light & Love always!
Login to Reply
Date: 9/7/2009 6:42:00 PM
smoking has witnessed many a relatonship!!!!great write rm
Login to Reply
Date: 9/7/2009 5:54:00 PM
hot one! nicely written, flows like honey
Login to Reply
Date: 9/7/2009 7:02:00 AM
What a poem friend..... I agree with Elaine, to my favs....Awesome......:JP]
Login to Reply
Date: 9/7/2009 6:45:00 AM
To my favorites! A MASTERPIECE! dear Raul. Lainie
Login to Reply
Date: 9/6/2009 1:59:00 PM
Hi Raul Wow! What beautiful poetry you pen here today. Such a talent you are. I think every woman yearns to be thought of in that way. Amazing poetry, excellent job! Love Light Truth Patricia
Login to Reply
Date: 9/6/2009 1:27:00 PM
Beautiful words...going in my favs-Charma
Login to Reply
Date: 9/6/2009 1:25:00 PM
Wow Paul, such evocative imagery very impressive. Joanne
Login to Reply
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
Store
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter
Hide Ad