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Impromptu

she says i am her sky i say if i am her sky then i will cover her as a blue blanket but being above her my love for her becomes cloudy instead of push she pulls me closer around her arousing her and me my soft skin blanket begins to stiffen no starch no need she kneads in warmth to rise my sheet a score her sky in heat we sweat we met meeting meat is flesh my canvas stretched painting with tongues tasting panting past romance slow dance singing bodies our choir's remixed song the finished work a painting framed hung above a fireplace kept warm and the song to be sung even hummed singing repeatedly our melody pene and cono with endless codas

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Maureen Mcgreavy

Date: 2/9/2019 9:40:00 AM

Wow. You did that well. Hot stuff, and then, I was totally confused at the end, whether or not your intention ;) musical reference?

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 2/9/2019 2:25:00 PM

Though first had more edge.

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 2/9/2019 2:09:00 PM

Lovely then and now.

Jeff Connelly
Date: 2/9/2019 12:08:00 PM

Thanks Maureen. I made a change at the end, but I did intend music and painting. Does this not work? Please let me know.

Maureen Mcgreavy
Date: 2/9/2019 10:24:00 AM

The poem is excellent, I don't know what pene, cono, or coda mean, which did not detract from the experience. Throw on.

Jeff Connelly
Date: 2/9/2019 9:49:00 AM

I was hoping to express my love with my muse to be both a painting and a song. Perhaps this didn't work too well. Just wrote it and threw it out there. Make any suggestions for improvement Maureen, I'd appreciate that. It seems you are the only one that comments on my poems jajaja. Thanks so much.