Impatience

I had to learn to be still - it was a hard discipline, for me. Impatience is my curse, it’s the underbrush fuel of my anger. Unanswered wishes invited trouble and hours of internal fuss. Impatience was the sound of panic in an empty room - it was emotionally stick-fighting with the ocean in an interior arena. I’ve tamed the wild urgency, I pretend it’s heat that I sink with stillness but I still have the neural itch to explode - as if I harbor an armed vigilante who watches the world with a child’s wide eyed envy. My step father was my angel in this - with his endless patience and calm - spending tiring days like Roman coin to help me understand that impatience doesn’t make anything happen. With his generous help I tamed this unattractive flaw. I was born too human but he’s helped me strive for the heavenly. Thank you Step (my name for him) I love you - Happy Fathers day.