I'M the Fastest

I’ve had to work a little harder down at the council yard, and by gee I’m glad it’s time for knocking off. Had to fix Andy’s broken shovel handle - he leaned a little hard, and ‘Occa’ took the day off with a cough. I never stopped to have a yarn down at the local pub, ‘cause I was flamin’ tired from over-work. Had to put the foot down in the truck; dumping dirt out in the scrub. Missed my arvo ‘smoko’ and my normal weekday lurk. I was feeling pretty savage when I walked through my door. Heard the arguing inside my young bloke’s room. I put my ear a little closer to hear what they’re yelling for - unprepared for what’s about to loom. Sydney Parkes had made a statement, saying that his Dad, was the fastest man that’s ever been around. He could throw a stone then run after it like mad, and catch the rock before it hit the ground. Well I gave a little chuckle; not loud enough for them to hear. Then listened to young Rodney; son of the local mayor, when he said that might be fast, but it is nowhere near, the speed my Dad is known for everywhere. He can climb a skyscraper; stand on the roof and throw a glass, hard as he can into the open air. Then he’ll run down the stairs and be waiting on the grass, catching it before it smashes there. That lifted up my eyebrows; I wondered what was coming now, ‘cause that was fast the three of them agreed, then my young bloke made me proud by mentioning somehow, his Dad was faster than the sound of speed. I wondered what I’ve done then he sent me into shock, when the other boys all had to agree. They said I was the fastest, ‘cause I knocked off work at four o’clock, yet I could be home at half past three!