Eileen Manassian Poet Quatrain

I'M Sick To the Core

I’m sick of this world
Sick to the core
And I can’t forgive
Or pretend anymore

I smile but I’m crying
I am through being kind
I hate people playing
Around with my mind

I know I’m naive
I know I’m a fool
But it’s hard to see
How you can be cruel

You just carry on
Pretend I’m ok
When all that I want
Is to end this day

I just want to hide
I want to break free
From all who torment
And who torture me

I’ve just had enough
Enough of these tears
Enough of this life
Enough of these fears

It’s just too damn hard
To get it all right
To deal with this hurt
To sleep through the night

My heart is broken
This isn't a joke
I guess it happened
From all that you spoke

You didn't say sorry
You just walked away
You think I’m a stone…
Or some game to play

I’m heaving with sobs
I struggle, and cry
Try to understand
Your sick reason why

Want to crawl in bed
And lock myself in
What you’ve done to me
Is surely a sin

I’m sick, I’m alone
You’ve gouged out my heart
Go and now and sleep tight
While I fall apart.

Eileen Manassian Ghali

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Guru Jad May 8, 2013 at 3:54 PM As for me, I love you Just the Way you Are! Eileen Manassian May 9, 2013 at 2:11 AM Well...that is a LOAD off my shoulder! ;) You now the song, right? Thanks, my dear. You're very sweet and kind.

Guru Jad May 8, 2013 at 3:53 PM Eileen.. I will not preach you about life since you are a church person.. I will shower you with compliments so they will not be taken as a compensation for my past folly.. All I can confess is that I can feel your utter truthfullness in every word and line.. and more than that, your grief is pouring right into my eyes and heart. And one more thing, you are not really alone.. if you looked carefully around, i am sure you will fail to count the people who adore you. --- Eileen Manassian May 9, 2013 at 2:10 AM Guru Jad....I am so happy to read this and know that you understand. I know you do. Going to church doesn't guarantee a life without pain. If the connection with God is faulty...then we suffer the most. I need to work on that. I know I'm not alone. I value and appreciate your friendship immensely. If that weren't the case, I wouldn't have said what I did! ;) Take care. Waiting to read another one from you.

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire May 8, 2013 at 10:43 AM Eileen, I ran out of room so i'll send you 2 comments. Chef sending Kenny to 36 countries to learn the cuisines. I know when Harry writes Poetry it is true life things he has been through. Your poem is so much like that. You are very good at rhyming and writing what You feel.this is a great poem. Respectfully, Flipper Eileen Manassian May 8, 2013 at 12:00 PM WOW! Lucky Kenny! Thank you for your kind compliment! I appreciate it! :) Have a great day...Flipper? You know there was a program about a dolphin named Flipper, right? ;)

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire May 8, 2013 at 10:27 AM Good Morning Eileen, I can feel the sadness in this.Is it true?I hope not you seem so undeserving of such pain. Chef has also taught us about poetry. I'm not his best student,that would be Kenny. He has 4 poems on POETRYSOUP. Chef is paying for his world tour learning the different cuisines aroud the world. Kenny is in France now and 2 years he goes to Italy.One of Chef's dreams was to become the 8th Black-hat chef in the world but Health stop him.Kenny said he wanted to so Chef is sending Eileen Manassian May 8, 2013 at 11:59 AM Hi! Your morning is my night! How are you? Yes...this was written when I was in a dark place, but I'm out of it for now! Going to enjoy the good times while they last. I don't know who Kenny is. If you give me a last name, I'll look him up.

Painted Hunter May 8, 2013 at 6:10 AM So much pain here, Eileen. I'm afraid I'm not nearby but you can cry on my soup shoulder if you need to. So much great poetry comes from pain...and this is really good...Caleb Eileen Manassian May 8, 2013 at 11:58 AM Caleb...your never as far away as you think! I might need that strong shoulder sometime! I'll let you know! :)

Tim Ryerson May 8, 2013 at 4:11 AM I weep for you, Eileen...You have expressed your pain in a very compelling and eloquent way...You are a beautifu lady, inside and out and you deserve much better...Blessings to you - Tim Eileen Manassian May 8, 2013 at 11:57 AM Tim....your post touched my heart. Thank you for the love and care! Bless your heart, Tim!

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire May 8, 2013 at 12:56 AM Eileen, I'm not going to see Chef until 6PM to night Wed. I Know the Chef, if he's not talking about, food,food service or restaurants: he is talking about POETRYSOUP, and his SOUP Family. Out of respect for You I want to say I am trying to say Harry. I Know him as a Chef a Teacher a Philosopher You Know as a POET,so when I say Chef I mean Harry or what ever other names he uses; Liege,HG, Sharon Barre ( although I have not found any of his POEMS on ( POETRYSOUP .) Respectfully, Flipper Eileen Manassian May 8, 2013 at 2:18 AM Hi Flipper...sorry couldn't respond sooner...I was in class. I love Poetry Soup as well....lovely people here. So...Chef is a philosopher. Give him my love when you see him. Do take care of yourself and him. God bless.

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire May 8, 2013 at 12:50 AM Eileen, I'm not going to see Chef until 6PM to night Wed. I Know the Chef, if he's not talking about, food,food service or restaurants: he is talking about POETRYSOUP, and his SOUP Family. Out of respect for You I want to say I am trying to say Harry. I Know him as a Chef a Teacher a Philosopher You Know as a POET,so when I say Chef I mean Harry or what ever other names he uses; Liege,HG, Sharon Barre ( although I have not found any of his POEMS on ( POETRYSOUP .) Respectfully, Flipper

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire May 7, 2013 at 11:33 PM Eileen, I gave You a 7 rating,this time Last time I left a "rating" I'm impressed with the Swiftness of time You have answered my answer to You. My name is Phillip Rollings I have known Chef since 2006. I am now the head chef at Resort in Maine I see we have the same look of RESPECT for Chef, You know him as HG,Harry or Liege or any combination I'm going to read this poem and comments and tomorrow I will do a real comment to YOU. Its a pleasure to meet YOU, Phillip (flipper) Rollings

Hgarvey Daniel Esquire May 7, 2013 at 8:26 PM Eileen, Chef asked me to say Thank-YOU for the comment.He appreciates it. He will write YOU after he gets home.Respectfully Phillip Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:43 PM Thanks, Philip. I've written a response on Harry's poem, but in case you check back here, please let him know that he is in my thoughts. I hope that he will be able to deal with this difficult time in his life by God's grace and help! Thank you for letting me know and please keep me posted.

Delysia Hendricks May 7, 2013 at 4:26 PM For a while you had me worried there, Eileen. You're a very strong writer and manage to make your own dark feelings very real to the reader. Whew!! Nice one, my eloquent friend. :) Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:45 PM Delysia, you are a dear sweet friend. Thank you for your post. I needed to vent, and I'm glad I could write out my hurt and frustration. I'm better now....somehow. I struggle with depression, so often...I just need to wait for the storm clouds to pass. Thanks for being a ray of sunlight! Hugs!!

Poet Tacito May 7, 2013 at 3:29 PM Huge hug. That's all I've got. Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:45 PM Drake, hugs are sometimes more powerful than words. I received your hug, and am grateful for it! :) Right back at ya!

Richard Lamoureux May 7, 2013 at 11:41 AM I am glad you are currently not deling with this emotion. Thanks for the explanation. Hugs Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:42 PM Richard, I am not currently crying over it, but I think my feelings towards this issue remain the same. :( I need to toughen up...I need to let go...I need to move on. t=Thanks for the hugs. I sure need them.

Anne-Lise Andresen May 7, 2013 at 5:00 AM - Hi Eileen, a skillful poem ..... embrace the day .... it's yours! - The sun always shines on the nice girls. - oxox / / Anne-Lise :) Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:46 PM :) The sun sometimes plays hide and seek with the nice girls too, Anne Lise! Thanks for lifting my spirit. Hugs your way! :)

Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 12:59 AM I owe you all an explanation. I know you all posted out of a genuine concern for me. You don't know how much that means. Yes, this came from my brokenness. I don't now how many tissues I had to get through just to get those feelings out. I was in a moment of pure self loathing for being too caring and needy. People may not mean to hurt, but for a sensitive soul...things are difficult to bear, especially when there is no acknowledgement of wrongdoing! Hubby is back, so that helps! :) Love you all!

Timothy Hicks May 6, 2013 at 11:45 PM I echo Ilene's comment. It feels to authentic to be "made from thin air". I don't know what you're going through, but I'm here if you need me. A big contrast from your previous one... keep staying strong! Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:47 PM Knowing you are there is a comfort, Timothy! Thanks for being a good friend.

Ilene Bauer May 6, 2013 at 5:32 PM i'm really hoping that this is fiction, but it feels very real and so sad. it's very powerful and beautifully written, though. feel better... Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:48 PM No fiction, my dear, but I'm better now. :) Thanks for the support.

Laura Breidenthal May 6, 2013 at 3:14 PM What a write! This one speaks to me. . .really powerful words. I am impressed, great honesty. Always,' Laura Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:49 PM Thanks, Laura. If we never expression the hurt and pain, we can't go through the process of healing, right? Glad you could connect with this. Hugs.

Richard D Seal May 6, 2013 at 2:31 PM You seem to have hit a particularly rich seem of nuggets Eileen. This is sad but unfortunately a place many find themselves in. The mating game is rarely easy. A forceful write about one of humanities greatest faults. Take care, Richard Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:51 PM Richard, I told you a downpour was on the way, didn't I? Better now...the storm has passed...temporarily. It always comes back, Richard. BTW...hubby isn't the culprit. He's been a good boy. Thanks for the post.

Jack Ellison May 6, 2013 at 8:49 AM WOW Let is all hang out Eileen!!! Quite intense... it's only a poem... right? Hugs, Jack xoxox Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:54 PM Nope, but don't worry, dear sweet Jack! I'm better now. Must be those XOXOXOX at the end of your post! ;)

Richard Lamoureux May 6, 2013 at 8:28 AM This is quite a change from the previous poem. I hope you are writing about the past and that today is a wonderful day. If not I am sorry you are dealing wit this emotion. Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:54 PM Richard, your empathy is very appreciated.

Connie Gildersleeve May 6, 2013 at 7:53 AM Conveyed deep emotions of sadness and a broken spirit. Wishing you much courage and strength to rebuild wonderful dreams for your life. Never the end but new beginnings, always. Warm Smiles, Connie Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:55 PM Connie, I'm so touched by your response. Bless you for reaching out to me!

Sara Kendrick May 6, 2013 at 7:40 AM Sad love lost poem..I hope just a work and not life's experience now..Sara Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:56 PM Sara, life throws us a lot of heartache, doesn't it? We know where we can go for help. If only we would follow through, much of that pain He'd ease for us. Thanks for the post. :)

Judy Konos May 6, 2013 at 6:20 AM The entire time I was reading your poetry I thought of 'Adele' and her song, Someone Like You.... she found her happiness and true poetry or not...So Will You...thanks for posting.... Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:58 PM I have happiness, my dear.....I'm just just a silly girl who gets all bent out of shape when I feel rejected. ;) Not so easy. Love that song by Adele. :)

Russell Sivey May 6, 2013 at 5:51 AM Wow, your write has such emotion within it, I was so immersed into it while I was reading it! You have enlightened me by the splendor of this amazing poem! It seems your feelings for the situation is extremely strong, and quite saddening! I hope things get better for you, and life throws you a good piece of life! This is such a grandiose poem, Great Work!! Eileen Manassian May 7, 2013 at 9:59 PM Russell, life is good. I need to appreciate the good in life and forget the bad. Thanks for this lovely post. You are very kind and considerate. :)