Im Not Me

I’m not me look into the mirror, and what do u see? A sad, depressed girl staring back at me, She can’t even look herself in the eyes, Tears well up, but she won’t let me cry, I couldn’t take the world anymore, That’s what I thought when I locked the bathroom door, The girl in the mirror, she isn’t me, At least not what I used to be, This strange girl was out of her place, Even the vibrant colors were worn off her face, So many cuts and little scars, When the pain of life just went way too far, The smile she used to always wear, its gone unnoticed, and disappeared All there is on her face, is anger and fear, I didn’t want to, but she’s making me do it, On the bathtub ledge, she forces me to sit, There's a razor blade in my hand where the hell did that come from? I shouldn’t do this; my body’s already numb, Turning the faucet and the tub fills, The water is so cold, it’s sending chills, I knew what was going on, but couldn’t do anything about it, My body wouldn’t respond, but inside me, I was having a fit, Sinking into the water clothes and all, I felt like a drenched puppet doll, The razor at my fingertips, I close my eyes and bit my lip, This girl knew she was going to die, I now can feel her start to cry, Placing the menacing blade to her wrist, I thought of all the things I’m going to miss, I feel the blade deep inside my arm as I scream inside, The anger within her will no longer hide, The deed is done, my arms are sliced, This girl doesn’t care at what price, I stare down into the water, I can see red, The room is spinning, shouldn’t I be dead? Someone’s banging loud on the bathroom door, I’m getting colder, down to the core, The person beyond the lock is calling her name, And began to scream when no answer came, This body of mine, it’s getting numb, My heart beat, it echoes like a drum, My head leaned back, starting up at the ceiling, While my mind is ringing, The locked door is busted down, I feel like I’m about to drown, There is a boy standing here staring, Sorrow and desperation burning in his eyes Falling to his knees, he begins to cry, Now look in the mirror and tell me what you see? What you thought was me is not really me.