I'M My Enemy

Immune to judgement; I run away from my happy days, can't believe I could have hapiness too. though words hurt a lot more, they heal a lot more too. There are days when i feel most alive, im too scared to disturb that beehive that sphere of my life. I wish to change, want new beginnings; but what if the stings kill me before i can see it? I search for some semblance of humanity, but all i see is clouds of vanity repelling each other since we're all the same I dont know what to say.