I'M Losing My Best Friend
I've noticed something, something that was off
I've noticed a change so drastic, you've become lost
Somewhere between living and just being alive
No more big dreams of being someone, you've lost all of your drive
We're drifting not because of distance or differences and I fear it's only just begun
I've been there, still am there, mental illness plus one
Addiction, such a terrible and awful waste
We've gone through this together, drove miles just to get a taste
If you're looking for someone to blame please blame me
This guilt is always following me, why couldn't I just see?
I gave you your first Adderall in high school, introduced you to something worse
The taste of battery acid and chemicals, I wish those memories would just disperse
Yes I know I didn't force it upon you, this much is true
But as soon as you fell for the drugs the drugs fell for you
Please put down the bag and look into the mirror
You see that beautiful girl is still there but that's all that will appear
We used to speak deeply of our feelings but now it's all sadness and despair
Where did you go? How can I help? Will you ever break free from there?
When we talk we don't talk for long, your friends are back, I get it, time to go
I am struggling too and would rather talk to you, when my mind brings me so low
I always went to, always would vent to you but recently I don't have much of a choice
I can barely get a thought in before I hear someone else's voice
The saddest part was when I needed you by my side the most you weren't there
The funeral was so hard and I cried so much, life was so unfair
Loved ones closest to you can let you down: cut you the deepest
And that day I was on the edge of a desolate cliff that seemed to be the steepest
I've been wanting to spend time with you but don't get my hopes up anymore
The life I chose was so far that when I left you had to fill that hole with something more
You will always be welcome, I will never turn you away
But it's a two way road, we talk less each and every day
I'm starting to worry, my anxiety is back, loved ones are worried about you
They've told me you've fallen too deep and they want you away from that place too
They've also noticed your paranoia, rapid weight loss, and the excuses you make
You're killing yourself with every snort, inhale, and every pill that you take
I love you, you are my best friend, I'd do anything just to take the pain away
My thoughts are with you always, and there will be a place in my heart and forever you'll stay
Copyright © Jessica Jones | Year Posted 2017
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