I'M Just Me Sep 5 2011

There could never be another soul, that would fully understand the enormous depths that I carry. Everyday I live with chaos, with static, with a mess and to have somebody go a day in my shoes could get a little scary. Day to day I am faced with and pressured by, the many inner demons residing in my head. Causing such a power surge, I'm enjoying this rush, I'm so full of rage, I see many shades of red. Then, there's me at the other end of the spectrum, the wild one, the crazy and the free. Yes, sometimes I can be a little off my rocker per-say, But who cant? You know what I mean. I'm not "normal," nor will I ever be, I have accepted that fact and moved onto something knew. I am easily side tracked and thrown off course, but every word I speak my seem crazy but it is always honest and true. My mind is an overflowing pot of scrambled wrong and insane thoughts, it is literally exploding at the seams. Knotted inside, tied so tight, I'm fighting to catch my breath, sometimes it can get that extreme. Visions of red flash before my eyes & sometimes I can laugh it off, in hopes that it will just disappear. I promise it never does, it just consumes my body and that's when the voices begin and then I hear. I try to tune them out, sometimes they are just to loud. You will not get the best of me, I promise you, I will shout it out to all of the biggest crowds. Yes I have to take pills everyday and I must conform to what society overseas as "acceptable behavior." Sometimes I will play by the rules and other times I won't, I've always wondered, Does my "Pass Go Card" ever expire? I am who I am, I will always be true to myself, honestly I'm not sure that I want to change. I look at the world with my messed up views on life, why would I want "normal," that idea just seems strange.