I'M a Man
So here I wake half an hour removed from betraying sleep
into a prison built like a home but the walls, they deceive
mimicking the duct taped windows
There's no fun, no joy to be permitted
boredom arises while anger bubbles to the surface
a shark ready to attack, bite the neck of the first thing it sees
the illness latched itself onto me
Am I proud of it, no, but I stand by it
Depravity of sleep fueled my responses
but the anger has always been there
For an entire week
the house to call a home converted into my holding cell
I've been ignored, unheard
asked for my opinion only for deaf ears to walk on the very words I pronounce
so I fight back with my own rebellion
I'm sick of my days piling up to the same routine
sick of being silenced, treated second best
treated like I'm a growing problem, a mistake
treated like a pariah in the very house I should feel safe in
yet I just want to escape the minefield
get on a plane and never look back
I'm sick of this childlike rhetoric spit back at me
Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't I a man now
I'm not the same confused 13 year old
I'm just a determined, angry 19 year old
Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm not a boy anymore
I'm a man
I'd challenge a bear to be alpha just to prove it
I'm a man, I'll say it till I'm red in the face
I'm a man
I plant my feet to the ground like roots
so like a mighty redwood I shout I'M A MAN
I'm a man...
My very wish is to run
run to the only place bold enough to scream my name
in the exact frequency I yearn for
My very wish is to finally be on the island where it only rains
the island where I can cleanse my troubled mind
The very wish I have is silenced, unheard
and all who ever heard of it, forgotten it
walking on the very words I pronounce
as I spend another year
actively waiting to achieve what I've been dreaming for 7 years now
But childlike words are thrown my way
and I could say till I'm voiceless I'm a man
they only see me as a boy and here they decline my request
while I decline what they say
I'm not a boy
I'm a man, I'm a man
I'm a man
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