I'M a Man

So here I wake half an hour removed from betraying sleep into a prison built like a home but the walls, they deceive mimicking the duct taped windows There's no fun, no joy to be permitted boredom arises while anger bubbles to the surface a shark ready to attack, bite the neck of the first thing it sees the illness latched itself onto me Am I proud of it, no, but I stand by it Depravity of sleep fueled my responses but the anger has always been there For an entire week the house to call a home converted into my holding cell I've been ignored, unheard asked for my opinion only for deaf ears to walk on the very words I pronounce so I fight back with my own rebellion I'm sick of my days piling up to the same routine sick of being silenced, treated second best treated like I'm a growing problem, a mistake treated like a pariah in the very house I should feel safe in yet I just want to escape the minefield get on a plane and never look back I'm sick of this childlike rhetoric spit back at me Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't I a man now I'm not the same confused 13 year old I'm just a determined, angry 19 year old Correct me if I'm wrong but I'm not a boy anymore I'm a man I'd challenge a bear to be alpha just to prove it I'm a man, I'll say it till I'm red in the face I'm a man I plant my feet to the ground like roots so like a mighty redwood I shout I'M A MAN I'm a man... My very wish is to run run to the only place bold enough to scream my name in the exact frequency I yearn for My very wish is to finally be on the island where it only rains the island where I can cleanse my troubled mind The very wish I have is silenced, unheard and all who ever heard of it, forgotten it walking on the very words I pronounce as I spend another year actively waiting to achieve what I've been dreaming for 7 years now But childlike words are thrown my way and I could say till I'm voiceless I'm a man they only see me as a boy and here they decline my request while I decline what they say I'm not a boy I'm a man, I'm a man I'm a man