I'Ll Make Life a Harmonious Poem

Well, if I am not willing to change anything, I'll make life a harmonious poem; yet, I didn't believe at first anyone who knew how to love, I just laughed at them with a curiosity that an incredulous had... to know, to discover, and feel something while living and not leave anything undone! My assumption wasn't enough to pursue conviction, the human sentiment hung especially on guilt, however forgetful it may have seemed on crucial days; the restless voice within rebuked me with harsh words, " Delusions are paid with tears and regrets, with a bitterness that has no equal opponent; nothing will delude me or will make me hope for redemption, I pushed everybody away, instead, I choose isolation and wept! Nothing made me aware of the reality with its crude tones denying me the sweetness that others found in simple delights, and not having felt them, the longing never stopped growing; they thought I acted strangely being an antisocial human being, did they realize how I wanted to be their friends in lonely moments? They did not reach out for me and stretched out their arms! What are my choices after all has been tried and terribly failed? Reinvent a reality that doesn't exist, or continue this journey with a dubious thought? What if I'll make life a harmonious poem and insist that destiny is not a force that frightens a strong spirit, an individual that has dreamed, sighed, and cried? Written on 10/30/2020