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If You Really Knew Me

If you Really Knew Me By Kevin Robey Febraury 16, 2013 If you really knew me, you’d see through these lies The smiles and laughs, can’t conceal my eyes You won’t ask questions, you won’t suspect You won’t see it coming, my final misstep If you read this now, you know it’s true Maybe there never was a me and you So many times, I fall so hard Don’t rise again, joy’s much too far I wish I was stronger, but my mind is stuck I made it this far, based solely on blind luck I know you’d tell me, to take it easy This upcoming part may make you queasy Be kind, and notify my next of kin Leave out the part of my final sin Another one in line with many Proof I was my own worst enemy Join me in my dark and twisted fantasy Of opened wrists, my last reality My breathing slows, as the crimson glistens My thoughts are peaceful, lean in and listen Let’s make this emo, and write a note I’ll even throw in a depressing quote Maybe goodbye, sorry, and such You say I had it all, I say not so much These medals and trophies seem to say That I made the most of every day The truth is I was simply biding my time None of those moments were truly mine You see everything, but I leave with nothing Didn’t believe me, you accused me of bluffing So see me now, as I bleed to the floor Take time and read to me that final score The end is here, the war is won The battle is lost, but wasn’t it fun? Torturous dreams and false realities Were the only real friends to me So it’s time to sign out I promise not to shout Sweep me under the rug Let me go, I’ll pull the plug The end is here, I’m so relieved Despite of all I managed to achieve Don’t cry for me, I’m finally happy This is my last wish, my final plea So I close my eyes for the final time I think to the beauty in words that rhyme My final exhale marks the final scene Knowing nothing is ever, quite as it seems

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 8/27/2013 7:09:00 AM
I related so much to the pain in your piece. As I've struggled with addiction (as I mentioned in my previous review of one of your poems), so have I struggled with suicidal ideations. You captured that hopeless state of mind well. My only real critique would be to iron out the wrinkles you have here and there with the rhythm, beat and flow of the piece, to make things match up a little better and lend some symmetry. But these little imperfections do not detract from the beauty and pain within :)
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Laura Dee
Date: 8/28/2013 5:49:00 AM
thanks! and yeah that is good advice, reading over it again. I hope to publish something someday, and it would help to make things flow better. I guess some of these themes are difficult to revisit, so I stay away from editing some of these because of it. But that makes me want to look at these again and make them better. Thanks for the reviews! they really help
Date: 7/30/2013 4:38:00 AM
I read it and re-read it. Very deep. (Just so I may feel relieved, the word in stanza 3 is 'queasy' not 'quesy'. Then 9th stanza- The battle 'is' lost... Just typos, I assume. But I know for you the war is won! And you've won my heart.
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Laura Dee
Date: 7/30/2013 7:45:00 AM
LOLL yeah I"m so bad at spelling and editing. This happened to be one I didn't edit all that much, so thanks! and thanks for the feedback :)
Date: 7/23/2013 2:11:00 PM
Wow. Your 5th & 6th paragraph blew me away. Very touching and twisted..I feel like I relate to these emotions. Check out some of my writes, I think you may like them. Again, this was very well written and makes me think of my own crimson memories.
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Laura Dee
Date: 7/24/2013 5:55:00 PM
Thanks! I appreciate that. I'll check out your stuff for sure :)
Date: 7/19/2013 9:25:00 PM
Wow, this is such a deep and thoughtful write. I love it. I love the way you wrote it and the feeling behind it. This is an excellent piece. My favorite stanza: These medals and trophies seem to say That I made the most of every day The truth is I was simply biding my time None of those moments were truly mine" Again I say Wow. Great, great stuff.
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