If it wasn't for poetry

With the sudden loss of my dear wife, In distant home land, I could not save her of heart attack, With funeral pyres cremating her on banks of holy river, Heart cried for weeks, family in shock for months. Crying must become stealth, as work survival got critical, The deep sorrow and shock got stacked in wounded heart, Tears dried up externally, but flowed with emotions internally, The feelings and longing for each other stayed in my heart forever, Some internet friends, asked me to write my feelings, A verse, a lament, whatever poured out of my heart, After month of trials, one day the heart opened in poems. The poems started pouring out some 20 years ago, Some were love poems, some bore loneliness, Some described her beauty and saw her in garden roses, Heard her songs in the waves on beautiful beaches. If it was not her loss, I would not have written a poem in my life, My engineering training lacked vocabulary and knowledge of poems, Wrote almost three hundred poems in next three years, All in free verse without knowing abcd of poetry writing.