Caren Krutsinger Poet Free verse

If I Were a Serial Killer

If I were a serial killer
I would not use a knife;
because I have always been afraid of them
And you would have to get your face 
and your hands too close to their face
and chest.

If I were a serial killer 
I would not use a gun;
because I do not like them.
They make terrible holes,
and lots of noise.
Also, some of them kick back 
and hurt your shoulder.

If I were a serial killer
I could not strangle anyone
because I am an asthmatic
and it seems incredibly cruel.

If I were a serial killer
I could not hang anyone
because I do not want to
have to get up there and put the rope up.

If I were a serial killer
I would have to run over people with my 
car. Wait! Then it might get blood and flesh on it.
Scratch that!

If I were a serial killer,
I would give people an overdose of sleeping pills.
So many that they would fall into a deep sleep
and not even realize they were dead for
a long time.

If I were a serial killer.

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Sigrid Ermine August 15, 2020 at 11:23 PM If.... If soft lost to stiff, if dead beat live a bit.... Oh, to wonder at the demented minds! Daring write, Caren. Caren Krutsinger August 16, 2020 at 4:48 PM Thank you Sigrid. It was a writing prompt at another site.