If I Were a Serial Killer
If I were a serial killer
I would not use a knife;
because I have always been afraid of them
And you would have to get your face
and your hands too close to their face
and chest.
If I were a serial killer
I would not use a gun;
because I do not like them.
They make terrible holes,
and lots of noise.
Also, some of them kick back
and hurt your shoulder.
If I were a serial killer
I could not strangle anyone
because I am an asthmatic
and it seems incredibly cruel.
If I were a serial killer
I could not hang anyone
because I do not want to
have to get up there and put the rope up.
If I were a serial killer
I would have to run over people with my
car. Wait! Then it might get blood and flesh on it.
Scratch that!
If I were a serial killer,
I would give people an overdose of sleeping pills.
So many that they would fall into a deep sleep
and not even realize they were dead for
a long time.
If I were a serial killer.
Copyright © Caren Krutsinger | Year Posted 2020
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