If I Can Have Your Attention Please

It's probably my attention deficit disorder. I guess that my attention span is shorter. Than most other people's anyways. Stuff gets inside my mind but never really stays. I'm frustrated irritated and my patience is depleted. To be honest right now I'm feeling quite defeated. I have a lot of thoughts that I cannot convey. People just stare back at me not sure what to say. But I know what I mean and I mean it all the way. If only someone could understand me or relate. I think my feelings and feel my thoughts. But only I connect those dots. I don't have fun and I don't like things. Im familiar with joy but not what it brings. I know sometimes I'm outta line and may come off sideways. But that's just how the script inside my mind plays. Even I'm surprised by some of the things that I do. My impulsivity is hated by many but rivaled by few. I'm not pragmatic but I'm not mundane. I may be outta my mind but I'm not insane. I do try to do better but I don't always succeed. Got an internal struggle between what I want; what I need. Lately what's right can't curb my desire. To go down in flames, can't put out this fire. I know that this road only ends in disaster. But that thought only makes me push harder, drive faster.