If Crooks could vote

If gazelles on the savannah could vote They'd vote for muzzled tigers, then they would gloat. If wolves outvoted sheep, let's think what stops: No more wool sweaters, no more lamb chops. If crooks in the cities could legislate There would never be a court date They'd be out of jail while the cop like a clerk Is still filling out the paperwork. If the poor could vote for their rightful share They'd vote for food stamps, free health care If corporations could vote for handouts, in DC's halls They'd charge the Pentagon for concerts, even golf balls. If students could find an idealistic mission They'd vote for free college tuition You might feel that's self-serving, but aren't we all Lets get what's due us and have a ball! If lawyers could vote, for a constitution eraser Each one could be an ambulance chaser Deep pockets everywhere could be accused of discrimination Fat cats would cry, but who needs them in our nation? If terrorists could vote, shouldn't it be their call They'd vote to get rid of our border wall. They could import an entire battalion Blow up things, be awarded a golden medallion. Well gazelles can't vote, and wolves don't elect But due to our species, the republic is wrecked Each year we add trillions to the debt Any animal that did that should go to the vet. The rest of its true, if you shoplift hundreds a day A slap on the wrist is at most what you'll pay Last year almost half of small businesses were sued So much self-destruction, we're really screwed. Another point: Gazelles have wants, and sheep can feel But humans elect people who pursue the wrong ideal They cloak their agenda until they get power Then watch out, its freedom's final hour.